Letting Go Of Our Dream Wedding Date
If you told me back in 2018 when we booked our wedding that I would be writing this post, I would have thought you were crazy. But here we are. Our wedding is postponed.
Andrew and I have spent the past two years planning this wedding ourselves. Truth is, we needed those two years to create the day we dreamed of. We worked so hard to save for the biggest day of our lives (a financial accomplishment that doesn't always receive enough recognition) and put so.much.thought. into every single little detail - not one idea left unexplored.
When COVID-19 hit the US back in February/March I tried SO hard not to worry, but having just recovered from the worst flu of my life, my immune system was down and the overwhelming stress triggered the painful shingles virus in my body - a clear sign that I was not handling the anxiety and uncertainty surrounding this wedding well at all.
Andrew and I have spoken about this topic for hours, days, months. We have spoken to family. We have spoken to friends. We have spoken to our vendors. We have spoken about this so much, that we finally had to let go.
The joy was gone. We no longer felt like the bride and groom counting down the final months until our special day, but the couple trapped in a now 3-year engagement.
And trust me, it hasn't helped that things are reopening, people are on beaches, you can sit outside at restaurants and now we are saying goodbye to our dream date. Many tell us that this time will fly by, but when your engagement is almost as long as one's college career and you want to move forward with your future goals like buying a house or starting a family, it feels like the biggest setback we could experience.
But then one day it hit me. On our daily 3-mile walk I stopped and looked at Andrew with tears in my eyes and said, "this has to be part of a bigger plan. This has to fit into a puzzle and one day it will all make sense." - and that's when I began accepting this decision.
The past 90 days have been nothing short of difficult. Balancing our concern for what has been happening in the world with the constant worry about this major event in our personal lives has been overwhelming to say the least. But this experience has also brought us closer. It has strengthened our relationship in so many ways and it has proved to us exactly why we should be joining our lives together through marriage.
So maybe 10.02.20, for how perfect it sounded, really wasn't meant to be our date. I almost think it was a sign when we received the available dates for 2021 and saw August 27th - the exact date we got together 8 years prior and have been together ever since.
While this experience has not been easy, we know that we will get through this. We finally feel like a weight has been lifted and we can breathe again. To all the couples out their struggling with how to proceed, just remember, we all deserve the wedding day we envisioned - and that's one free from fear.
Our Most Common Questions Answered:
What was the final deciding factor? - Every single guest has to travel in for our wedding. Their safety, comfort, and willingness to attend in the midst of a pandemic seemed unrealistic for us personally. We began to explore postponement options when our Italian honeymoon, bridal shower, and bachelor/bachelorette trips all got cancelled.
Will we still get married in October? - No. While many couples are choosing to still get married on their original date, Andrew and I want the entire experience to take place on the same calendar day. We want to wake up on our true wedding day and have it include all the important pieces.
Will you do anything to honor your original wedding date? - Yes. Andrew and I have a beautiful plan for how we will honor that day. This is something we have dreamed of doing for years and finally have a good excuse to make it happen.
Was it easy to reschedule? - Logistically, yes. Mentally, no. For everyone else, it was a matter of changing the date on their calendar. However for Andrew and I, it was letting go of a special milestone in our relationship and accepting that our future plans for buying a house or starting a family would have to be pushed back and put on hold.
Did we lose vendors? - VERY thankful to report that we were able to keep all of our amazing vendors. The possibility of losing them was also a factor in our decision to postpone quickly.
Will you make any changes to your wedding? - Yes! While I am very sad to lose October, more time means more resources to expand on our event design. We will be keeping our initial design plan, but exploring areas where we can elevate the details. My design team and I are very excited about this.
Are we scaling down our guest list? - As of right now, no. We feel confident that we can have 150 guests by August 2021. If we kept our date for this year, we would have had to make major cuts.
Will we change our colors? - No. While I am not giving away those details yet to keep an element of surprise, we are not changing our color palette. I truthfully feel that our design and color palette can be applied to any season.
Will we still go to Italy & France for our honeymoon? - This was our dream trip and having to cancel was a huge loss for us. We are hopeful that we can still go next summer, but we are also exploring other options.
Lastly, what happens to the dress? - If you're a bride wondering how to store your gown, I am very thankful to share that my dress shop is storing it for the next 14 months free of charge...and yes, I will be wearing the same one I originally selected.
If you are a bride or groom with any questions about postponing your wedding, please feel free to reach out. Having support and sharing stories has been very helpful for us during this time and we are happy to share our experience further.
To our guests, we thank you for your love and support. We ask that you please visit our wedding website for all important updates and information over the next year.
To our amazing vendor team, we thank you for all your support and guidance as we navigate this experience together.
To my loving fiance, Andrew, thank you for being everything I need right now. For holding me when I'm sad, wiping my tears away when I cry, and helping us get through this experience day-by-day together.
Until next summer...